Basically I'm doubting myself yet again. X_X UGH. Now is NOT the time to be a tard. I think it's getting to the point that I'm surrounded by so many mega talents and that I'm not pushing myself as hard as I can. Which is ironic because about four nights a week I'm pulling all nighters to get things done and still coming in second place. D: Maybe it's my diet change, could be I'm drinking WAY too much caffeine as I pretty much consume half a box of Crystal Light drink mix A DAY. It could be that even if I walk to class every day I'm not getting enough exercise, I'm losing weight by lack of not eating as much and not eating the proper things, not by sweating it out on the treadmill.
I think I really need to study harder. D: I was working on my 10-9 Final today and ideally I'd like Page 1 in the can by tomorrow night, it's also the hardest fucking page in the story. But I found in pencilling and inking it today of which I only got as far as two panels in two hours something's not right here. And they were TINY. Sides the anatomy was wonky, I was making up details as I went, and I seriously need to sit down with reference and work this shit out. Like what the uniforms would look like from head to toe -- Thankfully I have an excellent book on the subject. What each of the characters would look like. Character acting which is such a weak point for me because I can bounce around my room all I want but from seeing it in my minds eye to put to page is bitch ass hard. I even have trouble seeing hands in my head as I'm constantly putting thumbs on backwards or making characters left handed. Not kidding! @_@
That second story beat of my Materials and Techniques assignment was due today and Shawn walked by asking 'That's not Beat Two is it?' which little by little the voice in my head started screeching 'That means you're going to redo it yes? -.-' Which I think I'm going to beat him to the punch and do so since thankfully class is cancelled on Monday. I still need to figure out how to make sense of the ending because that's coming up fast. @_@
I just think it's again just like how it was back in PJC. I hit a plateau and got too scared to take the next step. I was at the top of my game but got so comfortable I gave up trying until the younger kids caught up to me then I started stressing out. The fact that I'm going to a school with folks that already had professional work before they even enrolled, and here I feel I'm starting to get past my shelf life.
This was to be the quarter that I broke through what we call around here 'The Awkward Phase' and I feel like I'm still behind the curve.
So I'm going to quit my bitching and DO something about it.
The Plan:
- Get back to keeping more thorough track of my day planner. This is manditory.
- Buy a new water bottle. A BIG ONE. A 64 ouncer if at all possible. Carry it everywhere.
- Walk two miles every day. Thankfully I have a 15 Minute Mile DVD.
- Do warm ups for drawing every day. Incorperate it into classwork. Shawn is teaching us techniques like inking with nibs and brush and such so if I need to practice my anatomy good god do it with a nib. Need to draw rifles? Draw them with a brush. Uniform design? Ballpoint pen. SCAN the results no matter what.
- Even if all nighters are manditory be responsible. Manage time. Plot a chart of when I'm going to work on what when.
- Be strong with people that say they wanna chat that I can't chat because it's getting to be a major problem to the point that I just may have to start ignoring pages or not logging in.
- Show up an hour early to school every day. If there's a class in session in my classroom, go somewhere and work. Stop wandering around to socialize. And stop sleeping in until the last possible second.
- Start on assignments the second they're assigned. Go to the Temple every Friday for extra help. Stay the whole time.
- Do Connector Assignments on time. This hasn't been a problem but I'm starting to push my luck here.
What a way to break my radio silence here but it's time to get back into action. >_<9
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